The Shaft Report

(parody)
The Shaft Report

Somebody is gonna get shafted and it might as well be autistics.

"Wiping Autistics off the face of the planet - No Finer Cause on the
Planet"


Loser Shafter - Editor in Mischief


Today's Headlines -

The NeoNazi council of America. has discovered autism to be a Jewish plot for world Domination. - Read more


World Renowned Preacher _ "Autism is God's punishment for homosexuality" - Read more


DAN researchers discover excessive masterbation leads to autistic like symptons. - Read more


Today's Editorial

Helping Autism to help ourselves

As we suffer through each horrendous day of agonizing hell, We wonder what can we do to make our lives easier? The alternatives are endless. We wonder about if we only had the chance to have had an abortion. Perhaps little johnny would go and play in traffic. And on it goes. But wait
there is hope! Given the current climate of awareness look at what Autism Speaks has done. They are helping autism to help themselves. By selfishly creating awareness , they can afford expensive trips and limos and throw lavish parties! They all have handsome salaries. They are truly helping autism to help themselves. Little johnny can be such a blessing in disguise! Look at myself, I *pruposely* adopted an autistic child. I took part of the money the state gave me for him and used it for shameless self promotion. This Newsletter was funded in the beginning
entirely by him!. Dont worry, He didn't need that "extra" money.psst- He didn't even know it was gone. I am now well respected and honored by various groups such as the California legislature and many others. You can do it too!! I will tell you about it my new DVD series -"helping autism to help yourself"!! 4 easy payments of 69.99!! I will thrown in my special book "Shaft ABA _Maximum Pain Maximum Results" If you act now!! - LS
"Giving Autistics the shaft since 1998"